An Open Letter to Myself
25 Sunday Mar 2012
This is an innocuous attempt to save myself from feeling worthless (for no reason) and insta-melancholic everytime i hear anything Adele-related. Why an open letter? Because I am well aware of my incessant need for external validation or for any tangible form of writing that is laced with less than real metaphors and cliches. And by addressing my character flaws and failures publicly, i greatly increase the chances of making concerted efforts to become a finer person in life.
Warning: This might be painful for me to write and shameful for you to read, nonetheless everything ends on being real (or sort of)
Dear Denise (if that is your real name),
You, being chronically clumsy is not funny anymore. Nonchalance will not bail you out from all those embarrassment such as tripping by yourself or (recently) accidentally smashing your face on the glass door. Still, you manage to laugh at yourself as if it makes a difference. And for pete’s sake stop buying similar things always in two colors or even worse, you shop for all the nautical blue and white stripes you laid your eyes on (it makes you look you’ve been repeating what you’re wearing). Practice modest splurge to avoid having a retail store collection in your closet.
I understand that you want to try a lot of things (or be crackerjack of many for some reason) because your fervor for life itself is apparent. But you cannot sing, you cannot dance, you cannot play the drums, you are not good in public speaking and sports, you can never like club parties nor scream-o music. You are impeccably passionate but still you haven’t stopped trying in finding out (or perhaps creating) who you really want to be. It is imminent that sooner or later, your dreams of becoming you-dont-know-what is about to happen! Don’t ever settle for mediocrity. Just wait and have faith, okay?
Carrying on, don’t fret over petty things Denise, like not having a lot of subscribers or followers. It doesn’t measure your blog’s worth and just as long as your influence (and not to mention coaxing with nonsense matters) with your readers is positive then you still have a purpose in this planet. Don’t even mind that you look like a headless chicken (see i don’t make any sense at all) and it doesn’t always matter what other people say or think. And what are you doing to your body? You’re burning out from traveling south to north everyday for months now and you barely make ends meet!
It is prudent that you are thoughtlessly plundering through life, more often than not about love (you were on the two sides of the coin remember?) and career growth. But sometimes, don’t think of what could have beens or those vivid painful memories (plus failures that are constantly knocking on your mind saying ‘hello what makes you think you won’t go wrong this time?’). Remember to never trust right off the bat, except for your family of course who accepts and loves you for who you are. Still you forgive easily, even though people have hurt you, judged you, blamed you, dumped you, turned tables on you, stabbed you at the back but not literally, don’t believe in you, made you feel ugly duckling or worse, those who made you feel not good enough or not worth it. Don’t give up your kindness, passion and optimism even if everything or everyone around you stings. Keep moving forward woman!