And it seems like the only person i can hold on to is myself.
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and i’m starting to be weaker than i already am. I swear i’m trying my best not to break. I already have a shattered spirit and a broken heart. And this hasn’t happened for a long time. Series of conversations running through my head gasping for breath in between. Rummage of thoughts and questions constantly echoing in my head. It’s like routine of actions and emotions and all i need is escape. Or maybe not escape. I cannot just walk away. Still, i always choke up from words tangling within one another but i hardly manage to let them out. Problems pile one after the other and it keeps me awake past midnight. But i am not crying anymore, i have to be stronger than this. No words can come close to describe what i feel at the moment. The more i feel hate and frustration, the more i want to bounce back and be better. The more i want to love. The truth doesn’t hurt anymore. All i know is that this pain will help me who i am meant to be and everything will be alright in the end. Just a little more time.
Written last June 10, 2011.